The difference between Random Quotes and Miscellaneous Quotes is both extreme and docile at the same time. Amateur quote viewers will not be able to distinguish, and therefore should not care. To them, these are one list split in half, half in the Random, half in the Miscellaneous. As to whether they would be right or not, that is up to you.

Friends come and go; depression is forever.

Don't worry...toes.

Pliny the Elder!

Dihydrogen Monoxide.

Persistent repetitive thoughts which cannot be controlled are known as: cumpulsions, obsessions, delusions, sublimations.

I do not intend to tiptoe through life only to arrive safely at death

Don’t get even; get odd

I am in the world to change the world

Elvis was taken by space aliens in 1976 because he was too good for this world

You’re the Secretary of the United Nations, then? Ever sighted Elvis?

Russell Crowe: Why I Bit My Bodyguard

Stupid! Where did you think acorns come from?

Untied Dyslexic Church of Dog

Assist airport security: Fly Naked

Support your right to arm bears

Over 25% of human genes are the same as those of a banana—get over yourself!

Oh my god, the universe is big!

Woosh!

It’s worse than that, it’s physics, Jim!

Hey, you’ve got weasels on your face

You’re supposed to thwart the wiles of Evil, right? You see a wile, you thwart. Am I right?

The pigeon finds a hot dog

He liked banana-flavored bubble-bum

Oh, Lord, heal this bike!

Armageddon only happens once. They don’t let you go around again until you get it right.

The spate of werewolves infesting the Midwest are the offspring of noble pioneer women raped by Bigfoot

I’m too hungry to think about it, so let’s eat first, and then if it turns out to be wrong to eat it, I promise to be very sorry.

This may be a shower curtain.

“..—mipmip--..” he said.

It said geese could break a human’s arm with the blow of it’s nose

She’ll either blow us all up or rub soup in her hair; it’s a toss-up

The geese, on the other hand, looked about as aerodynamic as a pillow

I hope she does the soup thing. It’s always a laugh, and it doesn’t harm anyone.

Someone like Osama bin Laden can’t enjoy the joy of Hannukah –George W Bush

Airport: a place where people hurry up and wait

Read this or die

How to become a consistent buck-killer

Traveling humans: also see under Animals, Intelligence, Evolution and Custard

The second most interesting experience any tree frog ever had

There is a place so far up there is no down

That human has got a hole in it’s sock

Where you get socks, holes aren’t far behind

“Safe” is a relative word. –What, like “uncle,” you mean?

Hotel: a place where traveling humans are parked at night. There are beds and towels and special things that rain on people to get them clean.

This movie is simply a wet noodle.

Puppets can’t do shit

Putting the “F” back in freedom

There is nothing that can be in our way, for this is Big John, that Laughs at Barriers and says “brrrm-brrrm.”

I owe it all to horizontal stripes.

They’re all dancing…and being teapots…

It may take some time, but eventually I’ll figure out what you really want and then withhold it from you

Dear Diary: Today I was pompous and my sister was crazy

You gonna eat your tots?

You should probably come and get them because I can’t fit my numchucks in there anymore.

Who are you calling Fuzzy-Butt?

If it’s the last dance, dance backwards

Dignity’s got nothing to do with it

Imagine you’re in the middle of the ocean surrounded by tiny little seahorses…

Do the chickens have large talons?

This tastes like the cow got into an onion patch

I didn’t do it. You can’t prove it. Nobody saw me. The sheep are lying.

Chaotic evil means never having to say you’re sorry